The Official Doctrine of
“Giving your friend’s free shit is the love language of friendship”
Janessa Goldbeckas she always says
Scroll ↓
The Official Doctrine of
Janessa Goldbeckas she always says
The Thesis
There are five love languages. Janessa found a sixth. It involves a tote bag someone handed you at a conference, a bottle of wine you were never going to drink, and the deep, abiding joy of watching it become someone else’s problem in the best possible way.
The Prophet
Janessa Goldbeck is a Marine Corps veteran and San Diego civic leader who ran for Congress in California’s 53rd District in 2020 and later for County Supervisor. She has spent her career in national security, human rights, and veterans’ advocacy.
She has also, apparently, cracked the code on friendship. We are simply here to honor the discovery.
The Core Tenets
The item was free to you. The love is not. The love is priceless.
That branded water bottle was destined for a higher purpose: a friend’s cupboard.
Honesty about provenance only deepens the bond. Never pretend you paid.
Once the free shit is given, it belongs to your friend and to history.
Practice
Conferences. Hotel lobbies. That vendor booth. Opportunity is everywhere.
Ideally one who would genuinely enjoy it. Optionally, one who would be baffled by it.
No hedging. No apologizing. This is a gift and it comes from the heart.
“As I always say…” You know the rest.
The Congregation
Years of galas, marches, campaigns, sandwiches, and free shit changing hands.
In Closing
“Giving your friend’s free shit is the love language of friendship.”— Janessa Goldbeck, prophet of the practical gift